2
orth Praed - The Talented Man
No one knew where they came from; their origin was clouded. Oh, there were theories of course, but there was no evidence. All attempts to scour the records of antiquity for clues were fruitless. No matter how far back in history you went, there they were. Running. Screaming. Pleading for mercy and receiving none. Their appearance did not appear to have changed much in the course of several eons; it suited Darwin's proponents well to ignore them, for they did not evolve. They were the universal constant; always there, always persecuted, always the fugitives from the oppressive forces of divine moral rectitude, and always - always - defiantly playing away on their banjos.
* * *
This is the story of several things, all of them individually very consequential but collectively all rather banal and uninspiring. This book brings you the true story of the End of the World, for varying and often very sparse degrees of true, end, and world; this should not dampen your enthusiasm for this historical account, as history shows us time and time again that historical accounts are often worth very little other than the tablet it is chiseled on[With any luck, we can replicate this success at obscuring counterintuitive assertions in unnecessarily long and circuitous sentences many times in this account.].
This story is told from the privileged perspective of one with access to all the insiders. As anyone who reads tabloids will know, that means that this is also an account of whom had sex with whom, when, how, at what expense, and whether they got a discount or not. More intriguingly however, we shall reveal also whom didn't have sex, and we shall also discuss all the different forms of sex for which this holds true. After all, angels are major characters in the story of how the world ends, and angels represent purity[For now.] .
Everything in this account has been fact checked for authenticity[By a crack squad of baboon fetuses.] . For reasons which wouldn't piss of