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Light-Years Ahead of His Time
By
Joseph Devon
"Computer," Charles Arthur said, "how much longer until you shut off?" He leaned back, one leg thrown over the arm of his plastic eggshell chair. His silver jumpsuit glinted in the overhead lights and he threw a casual glance at the giant screen behind him.
There was a click as the computer's speaker came to life, then a distinct pause, almost as if the computer was sighing in disgust. "That won't happen for a little while yet, Charles Arthur."
"Computer," Charles said, not listening to the entire answer as he trampled over the computer's last few words, "I've decided I don't like you calling me by my full name anymore. In fact," the leg slung over the arm of the chair kicked a few times and Charles leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling, "let's go with something entirely different. Something regal and commanding. You know, like Commander Blap, or something." Charles clenched his fists and flexed his arms as he stressed the name, attempting to add machismo to it through forced body language. "Can you come up with something like that?" Charles lolled his head around to look at the computer screen.
Again there was an audible silence from the computer screen. "How would Gestault Weinschmidt suit you?"
"No."
"Oscar Mayer?" the computer asked hopefully.
"No."
"Excalibur?"
"Oooh, I like that one. Where's it from?"
"It dates back to the mythology of the mother planet. Earth."
"You mean Sol 3?"
"Earth," the computer repeated. "The lost planet from whence our entire universe's civilization came from. It is