Yellow on the Outside, Shame on the Inside: Asian Culture Revealed

Basically, the truth is that Asians would never move to America, if there were no opportunities to make lots of money. The sole purpose of their lives is to "follow the money." This posit--a word in which no normal person would know unless he or she's been forced to suffer countless hours of after-school SAT classes--is the first of what I call my Asian Pride Theorems, starting with money, then status, and finally, power.

With just my three simple Asian Pride Theorems, I can reveal the truths about Asian culture--whether it's Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, etc.--and all the reasons why Asians do the things that they do. First, Asians are obsessed with money and will do anything to get it. Second, money is conducive to the status that Asians seek, hence "doctor or lawyer." Third and uppermost, Asians want power: the power to control, the power to influence, the powe