The Theater (1720)

'And as to such Qualifications wherewith I am endow'd, which have always serv'd me in the Nature of personal Estate, I dispose thereof as follows; First, I give and bequeath my Politicks to the Directors of the Academy of Musick, my Religion to the Bishop of B----, my Eloquence to the most distrest Author in Grubstreet, who writes the full Accounts of _Murthers & Rapes_, and Fires, and my Obscurity to somebody that is inclin'd to turn Casuist in Divinity.

'Item, I give my Beauty to Mr. Dennis, because he had a Mind to steal it from me while I was alive.

'Item, I give my Wits to my Friends at _Button's_, my Good Manners to the Deputy Governors of Drury Lane Theatre; and my Charity to the married and unmarried Ladies